Saturday, November 27, 2010

Costco Rules: Rule #3 - Basically, Get Out of My Way

I could give you all sorts of reasons for the following, but what it really boils down to is that it's much safer for all of us if you just let me by.

Okay, first, write out a damned list.  You don’t have to use it.  Just look at it occasionally so that I don’t think you’re just winging it. 

And get out of the way.  This applies particularly to when you first enter the store.  Don’t stop and stare right at the door.  There are a thousand shoppers right behind you.  Get a move on.  It’s not the Emerald City.  That annoyed looking person behind you is me.

And as long as you’re getting out of the way, remember that cart?  Get that out of the way, too.  Don’t leave it in the middle of the aisle.  Don’t double park it.  Don’t park it next to you while you stare at the shelves.  And don’t, don’t leave it in the middle of an intersection.  If you do any of these things, it means years in purgatory.  (Really.  It says so on your receipt.)  And if you leave the cart there unattended, you are going to hell. 

And if you insist on blocking the aisle, be warned.  I AM coming through.  If you’re there, I’ll say “excuse me” twice, the second time even more sarcastically than the first.  If you’re not there, I will move your cart to another floor, and maybe out into traffic. 

Do leave it right up against the shelves.  If I need something, I’ll move it out of the way.  As a matter of fact, I recommend leaving your cart out of the way at the end of the aisle.  Yes, you can carry that case of copy paper all the way down the aisle.

No wandering aimlessly, and no doubling back with the cart.  If you failed to pick something up, you’re out of luck.  You should have checked your list, which, ideally, is sorted by aisle.  You can get the toilet paper the next time you’re here.  (Okay, you may double back later, but without the cart.  If you can carry the copy paper, you're ready to carry the big screen TV.)

When you’ve changed your mind about something you picked up, go and put it back where it belongs.  Don’t leave thawing bag of chicken wings with the gardening supplies.   Maybe this situation could have been avoided if you had spent a little more time on that shopping list?...

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