Music for the War on Christmas

It's been a less than merry time in the Jaybee household. We've received a few blows recently, including the death of our dog, the one-year anniversary of my mother-in-law's death, and the news of the death within our circle of friends/family.

And whatever anyone tells you, not everybody's ability to cope has been, shall we say, "heroic". That whole notion is bullshit anyway. You're lucky if the grief doesn't take you all down with it.

What to do when the mood of the season is laughably out of sync with your own? With cheerfulness being thrust upon you, you fight back, of course, defending your negativity from any encroachments of goodwill toward men.

And what better to arm yourself with than the most utterly depressing music I can think of? "River" by Joni Mitchell, you say? Please. Joni got over that pretty quickly. Ian Curtis didn't.

Joy Division: Unknown Pleasures (1979)

Joy Division's second - and last - album, Closer, was one of my first ever CDs. Lucky for me I got it with about a dozen other CDs, which gave me time to dip my toe into that black hole of sound.

This record - their first - is not quite that far gone but it's pretty grim, and its grimness is baked into the overall sound itself. 

Ian Curtis and Co. are an acquired taste unless you're a 1970s/post-punk depressive. I was tempted to say you had to be feeling pretty strong to listen to this without wanting to off yourself. But that's not true. If you were feeling strong you wouldn't listen to this at all. This is for wallowing in the depths.

As I get ever older I should be less patient with that approach. After all, here it's coming from a bunch of twenty-year-olds. I mean, what do they know? But lead singer Ian Curtis meant it, man, and proved it by committing suicide not long after their second record. 

The music itself is as intense but slower than your typical punk rock. It features more of the loud yet echoey guitar that would re-emerge when the Ian-less band morphed into New Order. It's the sound of someone on his way to rock bottom. Closer, with its more dirge-like songs, trading guitar for keyboards, is the sound of the bottom itself. 

Do you know how they say sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you change? What they don't mention is that there's no guarantee you will. 

I can't really say I enjoy this music, exactly, but it does move me. 

I guess Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works, Vol 2 is comparable, but since it's all instrumental its desolation is in what is absent and is thus less in your face.

But with its up-front vocals, JD counts as the most desolate music I've ever heard.

Merry Fucking Christmas

A-

There's a Surprisingly Thick Line Between "Not Bad" and "Pretty Good"

As year's end approaches I'm yet again scrambling to distinguish the bad from the good, the meh from the meh-gnificent, the mezza-mezza from the Measure for Measure, the crummy and puerile from the Crime and Punishment. 

And as usual, most of it falls somewhere in the middle.

Of course, what slows me down is my short attention sp -  

Look, a new 50 CD set of out-takes by (fill in obscure and probably overrated indie rock "legends")!!

And suddenly, it's three months later.

But I eventually return and get back to telling the bad from the good, the turd that's forced from the tour de force, the... well, you get the idea.

So here are two records that, on paper, seem similar - keyboard-based pop music with female singer/songwriter - but whose outcomes are completely different, if not in quality exactly, definitely in the fun factor. And isn't fun non-negotiable?

Weyes Blood: Titanic Rising (2019)

Christ, I've listened to this a couple of dozen times and I still don't know if I am actually hearing it.  (I must admit this also happened with Destroyer which I eventually came to like a lot.

This lady's kind of a drag. She sings in that stentorian style that comes from on high, indicating she's above all this mere pop music. She's always got her orchestra with her. 

The songs are not bad, the voice is not bad, the tunes are not bad and the record is overall...not bad.

It is kind of annoying and one-note (Jesus, sing in a different key fer chrissakes).

But I'm finally able to distinguish one song from another! I even put it on for company - not to knock their socks off, of course, but to provide that pleasant background sound for civilized dinners. Nothing that could be confused with rock 'n roll. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Some people will love it. A lot more will admire it. It's very accomplished, but really no fun. At. All.  And when you're just not in the mood, it's interminable.

But not BAD.

B+

"A Lot's Gonna Change"

Sharon Van Etten: Remind Me Tomorrow (2018)

Her voice occupies approximately the same range as Weyes Blood's, so why does she sound so much more compelling, even if her melodies aren't quite as strong? 

Maybe it's the delivery? Yes! It's not as technically accomplished, but it's far more passionate. She sounds like a participant in these songs, rather than just an observer. 

Or the dynamic and varied arrangements? Yup. Piano, of course, but also guitars, drums, and even some gratuitous noise. (My favorite kind.)

Or maybe it's the way she goes over similar territory as WB but risks throwing in a "holy shit" in order to keep it all grounded. Fuck yeah.

And it all goes by so quickly you're sure you missed something. So even if each song hasn't quite hit me yet I'm ready to play it again.

So, it may not turn out to be a MASTERPIECE, but it's pretty damn good.

A-

"I Told You Everything"

So next time....Oh, look! A squirrel! - 

Forget Everything I Said

Go-Betweens: 16 Lovers Lane (1988)

This is the GBs sixth album, and their last one before taking a ten-year hiatus.

It's also my eighth unless you count the anthology of solo records by each of the two songwriters, Robert McClennan and Robert Forster.

Now, this would seem to go against everything I said a couple of posts ago, yet here we are.

How to explain? Well, in a way this should have been my first GB record. After all, I heard "Streets of Your Town" on the radio in late '88. That timeless pop classic alone should have gotten me to the record store the day I heard it. Shall I say that, as a new parent, I put the care of our newborn first? It's just as likely I was avoiding the "one good song on a crappy album" situation. 

It took two years to get over that. Alas, when I tried to buy it at J&R, they had every other GB record except 16LL. There was an anthology 1978 - 1990, which had "Streets" on it, so I took the plunge. It turned out to be one of my favorite records ever - a great mix of their best album cuts, b-sides, and assorted weirdness. It would take me another six years to venture beyond that record, mainly due to the fear that I had now already heard all their best stuff.

And once I did it wasn't all smooth sailing. Each record had something to offer: some incredible high points, but also some annoyances. The latter were usually supplied by Robert Forster, whose songs didn't always have a clear melodic line, and his singing didn't worry too much about things like pitch. Kind of an MOR Lou Reed, if such a thing were possible. (btw, I'd pay to see that.)

I would learn that these were features, not bugs. Records like Before Hollywood and Tallulah were exactly what they wanted to be. And it was my tough luck if because of that they weren't perfect. 

It would eventually become obvious to (even) me that I liked their post-hiatus records Friends of Rachel Worth and Oceans Apart the best. Maybe by then, Robert decided that if they wanted a hit he'd have to be a little less awkward.

Unfortunately, this coincided with the music business becoming infinitely more superficial, if that were possible, so despite his best efforts to sell out, no one was buying, no matter how great the records were.

So I now came full circle, finally listening to Nutboy, who, in 2011 told me 16LL was his favorite GB record. And ignoring my own misgivings about the diminishing returns from getting multiple albums from the same artist. There are some for whom such a concern simply doesn't count. They're always going to give you something more than what you had before. And the GBs are among them.

Grant McLennan contributes his usual set of literate, emotional, melodic pop songs, "Streets" being merely the best one.

Robert Forster steps up with an almost too pretty "Love is a Sign" and the so sad it's almost funny "I"m All Right". Vocally, he reverts to form with "Clouds" but manages to sidestep the usual snags. The production helps. As a matter of fact, his songs are the prettiest on the record.

What's missing is the powerful rhythmic motor that usually drives their songs. But I guess it's just not that type of record, so they get away with it. 

My only regret is that they didn't get the success the album richly deserved.

A-

So in case you're interested here are my GB albums in order of preference 

Oceans Apart

The Friends of Rachel Worth

16 Lovers Lane

Tallulah

Spring Hill Fair

Before Hollywood

Liberty Belle and the Black Diamond Express

No go and have at it!

On Being Here to Stay, Never Forgetting, Etc.

Hmmm. No sooner have I bitched about the paucity of good rock 'n roll when I get slapped in the head with three excellent records. And what do they have in common? Well, nothing, but only one of the three was by a band I already had a record by. But it's so different from their other one that it almost doesn't count.

This is an early and short take with the grades subject to adjustment (even more than usual).

Spiritualized: Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space (1997)

First, the drug record (see cover), which is reminiscent of many late-sixties jam-mish records, none of which I can quite name.

Almost every melody sounds "pre-owned" but that's not necessarily a problem. In my book, if it doesn't immediately make you think of the other song, it gets a pass. And the only time that happens here is on the last tune, which nicks the riff and overall vibe from "Out of the Blue" - the first cut on the Apple Jam (see?) disc from All Things Must Pass. Which I like!

The lyrics aren't going to win any prizes with phrases like come together and I so too can rock and roll (or something like that), etc., but they're not so awful as to be distracting. And they're sung with so much stoned... commitment that I just go with the flow. A bit like Lonerism but with a higher dosage.

A bit long, but they're on another clock altogether.

Graded leniently, for the feeling of nostalgia it gives me for some other album I've never really heard.

A-

"I Think I'm In Love"

TV on the Radio: Dear Science (2008)

Second, the formerly-arty-but-now-a-little-more-down-to-earth band

Last time out these guys exhausted me with volume, song length, noise, and depressive subject matter. This time there's less of the first three, more rhythm/singing/melody, which almost by definition means less of the fourth thing.

There is almost a sense of humor here.

I love when an artist sticks to his/her vision (a la Neil Young) but sometimes you can do more with less. 

Graded cautiously because there's a lot to take in here.

A-

"Halfway Home"

The Paranoid Style: A Goddamned Impossible Way of Life: (2019)

And finally, the political rock 'n rollers.

For the last few years, I've been partial to the more poppish/melodic bands with female vocalists singing real pretty. 

This is more sleazy rock n' roll and gnarly guitar riffs with the smart as hell female vocalist with a lot to say. Luckily, she's - and I hesitate to use this phrase as an actual compliment in a rock n' roll context - Very Well Informed. 

That might seem...exhausting, but it's not. Each song is a waterfall of words buoyed by a swaggering band charging ever forward. They've got more than a little Clash and Mekons in them. 

Just thirty minutes, but damn near exhilarating.

A-

Grand Ending Statement (that would take too much work to dispute):

So I'm beginning to think we have moved from the era when a small handful of geniuses consistently made the hugest chunk of the great music to one in which many many different people each do a little piece of it. 

That or I'm just a music slut.

Between Rock and an Unheard Place

First, An Explanation (What Else Is New?)

I've been struggling with/apologizing for listening to non-rock/pop records, perhaps to ward off any complaints that I'm a snob. Which is silly, because I am one. Not that I think I'm better than anyone. I just avoid some people/places/things because I think they're dumb, annoying, or worse, boring, just like, I assume some are avoiding me for the same reason. Respect!

What's even worse than Dumb/Annoying/Boring, though, is same-old-same-old.

Which is why I'm slow to get that second record by that band whose first record was great. 

A sub-explanation: By "second" I don't mean the band's second chronological album. This isn't about faltering creativity. It's about how much of any similar thing you need. 

I mean the second record I got by that band. 

On the one hand, if they gave me a unique/exciting experience the first time around, they are likely to do it again the second time. But on the other, it's got to be a departure of some kind, otherwise, it's just a rerun of the first experience. It's a lot to ask I know.

This hesitancy is a powerful force for pushing me to new (to me) bands, and on a larger scale, to new (to me) genres. Thus, my forays into Jazz, Classical, and especially, World music. 

Of course, it takes longer to understand/appreciate/really hear those records. Thus, when I grade them it is typically based more on their "potential for imparting future joy" than, say, that Phoebe Bridgers record which I loved almost immediately. 

So for instance the Rough Guide to the Music of the Sahara wasn't rocking my living room from beginning to end when I gave it an A-. Instead, it was providing me with a new experience that contained several outright great cuts which gave me the time to absorb the more, well, foreign-sounding ones. 

The optimal end result of this is that some of the foreignness disappears - meaning I grow enough for it to now be familiar for it to become part of my "acceptable music" landscape. That along with its intrinsic uniqueness ensures I'll be listening to it for years to come, both to get into it more, but also to just downright enjoy it.  

Somebody: So, Jaybee, why the long intro? Have you been drinking again? You know, the beneath the surface defensiveness (same ol' Jaybee). The need to EXPLAIN.

It's because I have to tell you about some more records and I don't want you to laugh at me. These are the two core-yet-competing impulses that define my every human interaction. It's the "Look At Me, I'm Smart/Don't Laugh at Me" syndrome.

Now it's possible I've just not given the less impressive records a chance to sink in. This is ironic, given that, if anything, the styles are more familiar to me than those of the non-rock genres.

Anyway, here are a few "second" records by rock bands that are good-not-great, followed by two records by not rock bands that are great, not good.

Spoon: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga  (2007)

The first one was Kill the Moonlight - an excellent record.

This one's got the same rhythmic attack, the same sandy vocals. Maybe a little more guitar. But no brilliant songs like "Don't Let it Get You Down", or "Vittorio E." to put it over the top.

Good, not great, consistent, not brilliant.

B+

"You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb"

Big Thief: Two Hands (2019)

Too mellow (except for "No") and not weird enough.  Except "No".

B+

"Not"

Mountain Goats: The Sunset Tree (2006)

Again, very good, but not essential. Maybe it would be if I got it before Tallahassee. link

Not all that different from Tallahassee, which preceded it. That time, a toxic couple. This time an abusive father. 

Darnielle's voice is just at the edge of unique/annoying. But the tales are still very immediate and compelling - he's one of the best wordsmiths around. Troubled people doing bad things. Again.

On brand, but just not different enough.

B+

"Lion's Teeth"

Toots and the Maytals: Funky Kingston  (1973)

Pros: It includes "Pressure Drop", surely one of the all-time great cuts. 

Cons: It also includes "Country Roads". Yes, the John Denver song. Now I've got nothing against that alcoholic wife-beater, but it was jarring to hear it. Toots et al reggae-afy it and they make it sound easier than it probably was.

This is unpretentious yet smart party music, even if it's not always happy. Toots' vocals propel even the slower songs forward, and even "Louie Louie" sounds like an original.

If you've tried Burning Spear or Culture and found them too tuff, TATM are just what you need. 

A-

"Pressure Drop"

Englebert Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel (1893) 

Okay, here me out. 

First, it's not that dolt Arnold George Dorsey  I'm not that crazy.

EH is a composer from the 19th Century, and this is his most well-known opera. And it's really great.

The last time I tried opera, it was because Costco was selling ten of them (well, the highlights) for $10. And it sits like a brick on my CD shelf talking up more room than anything else. Space becoming more of an issue, I look back on this decision not with regret but with something else that works out to me not being wrong.

But after seeing snippets of this on Classic Arts Showcase (channels 75 and 165 on my awful cable provider) and being utterly entranced, I jumped in. Hearing the whole thing – all two CDs of it - doesn’t have quite that impact, but it is definitely my go-to opera at this point. There's very little of the overly virtuosic singing that turns me right off. It's far more melodic and sweet.

A-

Last part of disc one.

"Sandman's Aria and Evening Prayer".  It takes a minute but then it's sublime.

So there you have it. With Germany and Jamaica beating out America, my music is beginning to resemble soccer. 

Here's hoping it gets back to being NASCAR.

But Jaybee, you JUST SAID...

 I know what you're thinking. Jaybee, you JUST SAID you were listening to rock n roll.

Well, yeah, I did. It just so happens I'm finding it in odd places, this time in the Sahara. 

The very first time I ventured out of North America and Europe (musically, that is) I landed in South Africa. Soweto, to be specific. That was with The Indestructible Beat of Soweto, back in the eighties. The records below motivated me to head down to the basement and play it. And it sounded just as great as it did then.

Various Artists: Rough Guide to the Music of the Sahara (2005)

The subtitle says it all: Moorish Traditions to Desert Rock and Roll. It covers a lot of ground - literally - as the Sahara is nearly as big as the good old USA. But unlike us, the folks there are pretty spread out, which gives them the room to do their own thing. 

Some stick to their traditions. Others plug in their guitars. So I'd be a liar if I said it was a party record with bouncy rock songs from start to finish. But, like Soweto, it shows how the two approaches are more together than one might suppose.

The first two songs, while traditional, have some subtle melodic elements that one can imagine being used on Western pop.  But it's the third song, combining a call-and-response chant and an ominously chirping electric guitar where the connections become more obvious. 

It might have sounded stranger to me if I hadn't already heard Ocean of Sound, which just parachutes you into Tibet to hear the monks, and then over to LA for the Beach Boys, and expects you to deal with it. The same goes here in that the music is completely on their terms, made to please themselves.

So a little patience is in order. And given that it's a collection, it's not quite as focused as the wonderful Le Tran De Lair from earlier this year, which is a bit more focused and basic.

But this record, like Soweto, gets me thinking that maybe rock 'n roll is just the folk/street music but plugged in, and sometimes even not. 

In other words, it's music that comes from the ground up. 

A-

"Id Chab" by Miriem Hassan

Rachid Taha: Bon Jour (2010)

Rachid was born in Algeria, which, by a strange coincidence is also in the Sahara. (I swear I didn't plan this.)  He grew up in France before his untimely death. 

He takes a very different approach to his Saharan brethren above, who found rock 'n roll in tradition. Rachid just went out and grabbed rock music and, when he saw fit, added some of his own cultures to it. 

As a matter of fact, aside from the vocals, which are in his own language and in the style more akin to some current African genres, you wouldn't blink if you heard this record in a bar. Thus proving not only that they can do rock 'n roll, but do it as well as anyone else. 

This record is far more commercial than most of the artists on Sahara, and the cover is a lot tackier (I LOVE it), but the music is accessible as you could possibly hope.

A-

"Je T'Aime Mon Amour"

Some Good Old - and New - Rock 'n Roll

If you've been following me lately, the closest I've come to actual rock 'n roll has been by way of Niger with Etran De L'air (which absolutely counts, by the way). 

This is not due to snobbery. It's just I'm a big believer in the law of diminishing returns, and familiarity breeding contempt. In other words, the very opposite of Classic Rock radio.

I'm also so in awe of music itself that I assume it's a limited resource and we'll eventually run out. So with that kind of mindset, can you blame me for wanting to rotate the crops a bit? Aside from turning me on to all sorts of not rock 'n roll, when I finally do put on a Classic Rock station I actually enjoy it. (Unless, of course, they insist on playing the same shit again and again.)

Another factor that plays into this is that, upon hearing a great "new" band, I no longer immediately buy their entire catalog. It's as if, I don't want to ruin the effect of that first record.

And at the very bottom of it, there's vanity: I don't want to turn into the guy who sits around saying music isn't as good as it used to be. Let's face it, he hasn't listened to anything for decades so why would anyone give a shit what he thinks?

And there are too many of these guys already, and what they're saying is so utterly unoriginal and wrong they should get a new hobby, like gardening or homosexuality. Seriously. It'll do them good.

But in the meantime...

Dramarama: Cineme Verite (1985)

Finally, a good, unique, rock 'n roll album – one that I missed in the mid-80s, even though (actually, because) there were a couple of hits on it.  John Easedale's got a limited vocal range (which he only pushes too far once or twice) but he's sure got vision.

And the band backs him up, no matter the style a given song commands, and makes it all come alive.

Ah, but with nary a synth to be found, they were denied stardom. (F*ck Duran Duran, by the way.)

My version is a bit long, with eight extra cuts, but hey, that's what you get with vision. Definitely worth it.

A-

"Some Crazy Dame"

Fontaines D.C: A Hero's Death (2020)

D.C., as in Dublin City - a far cry from Drama in New Jersey. 

And thus almost the opposite of Verite. The lyrics are very basic and repeated like chants. The singer has a deeper voice. The tempos rarely get past medium. And the arrangements are the same throughout. 

And yet, it's all very compelling. Maybe because I usually associate this approach with disdain/contempt a la Johnny Rotten in Public Image Limited, whereas here there is a much wider spectrum of feeling tending toward the compassionate and life-affirming

If you consider "life ain't always empty" as a stirring chant, that is. But you had to be there.

A-

Spring 2020: The Time Machine Had an Undo Button

Just another morning in the Jaybee household where I'm listening to an opera while checking out a video on who invented Heavy Metal music.  Who said multitasking was dead?

It’s probably too late to explain to people that I’ve not become a classical music snob. It’s just that there are some mountains – and LVB is one - worth climbing.

But I assure you I am still a pop music snob/t, meaning that I sort of stand by a remark I’ve made a few times that I love music, and I hate people who merely like it. They’re the ones who buy all the bland crap cluttering up the record bins and record charts, thus discouraging the recording of the weirder/ deeper stuff I prefer. But things are much better these days: a random glance at the Billboard top whatever is likely to elicit curiosity from me rather than vomit.

Which is to say that I have been listening to pop(pish) music while climbing the LVB mountain. It resulted in a Jazz avalanche that I'll have to dig out of at some point but whatever.

Don’t believe me? Okay, here goes:

Waxahatchee: St. Cloud (2020)

The young lady who made one of my favorite rock and roll albums of that last decade has gone country and produced something almost as good.

With her slightly gravelly voice, these simple tunes occasionally risk sounding repetitive. (Rock and roll covered that shit up good.) But the tunes, voice, and passion win out. 

A-

"Can't Do Much"

Etran De L'air: No. 1 (2017)

They’re from Africa and have electric guitars. When they crank out are long, primitive but hypnotic call and response grooves. Guaranteed to drive anyone who insists on melody or pretty voices absolutely nuts. I like those things, too but I consider this to be my vacation from it.

It amounts to a so so quality live recording.  Two guitars, rudimentary drums. I don't even hear a bass. And yet it does what rock and roll was always supposed to do: get people up and dancing. You can hear the audience doing just that, even though they never heard the band before. You can tell because at the end one of the band members has to tell them their name. 

A raw, but - if you're open to it - vital record.

A-

"Agrim Agadez"

Perfume Genius: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately (2020)

This one is just the opposite. Slow and ornate, it's just the kind of long, arty opus with overwrought vocals that should rightly sink most other records of the type. But this one damn near soars. Every time he starts to get precious he backs it up with a good melody or arrangement.

I hear dance, rock, electronic, and chamber music. And I've not yet gotten to the bottom of it.

A-

"Leave"

Jocelyn Pook: Flood (1999)

To call this vocal music "classical" might be misleading. The only reason I do is that its best track showed up on a Most Relaxing Classical Music collection (which by the way is really good). The other tracks are not quite at that level, but the overall weirdness itself draws me in.

Another serious, arty record that doesn't make me bust out laughing at all the wrong times. Quite an accomplishment.

B+

"Blow the Wind/Pie Jesu"

Phoebe Bridgers: Punisher (2020)

So when I come back from that vacation from melody and pretty vocals this is where I want to go. Her voice is usually a whisper, so she sounds fragile but then she'll come out with a line about starting a garden after a skinhead neighbor goes missing, or I won't forgive you, but don't hold me to it.

So the songwriting is sturdy, and the arrangements bring out the best in them, especially "Graceland Too".  The title of which - along with her smashing her guitar of SNL - shows she has a healthy (dis)respect of her predecessors. David Crosby tweeted that her SNL stunt was "pathetic". She replied "little bitch".

How could you not love that?

A

"Graceland Too"

You might notice that three of these records came out last year. Old LVB muscled out a lot of 2020. Somebody had to.

But I'm back, at least in the Jaybee sense of being at least a year behind current music, getting distracted by jazz, opera, and heavy metal. In other words, I'm all over the place. 

Where I belong.

The Notorious LVB: 1809-27

1809 - 1811: Me and LVB Take a Break From Each Other, Part One:

We last left off in 1808, and since all I've got left in my collection are the remaining symphonies - which don't pick up again until 1812 - I'd hate for you to think LVB or the world are taking it easy. So here are some chronologies to pore over: one for him and one for us.

But if you can't be bothered, I'll sum it up below:

1809: 

Us: Oh, not much. War is declared against France, so the French army invades Vienna

Him: Teaches music to Archduke Rudolphe and composes a string quartet, a few piano sonatas,  and a bunch of songs for various luminaries.

1810:

Us: France (thanks Napolean!) continues to invade everyone and their moms. The Germans respond by declaring the first-ever Octoberfest. (All agree they should have just stopped right there for the next two hundred years.)

Him: Presents 'The Letter for Elise' to Thérèse Malfatti, for whom he's got the hots. Having addressed his frontal area, he moves on to covering his posterior by continuing to writing tunes for big shots. 

1811:

Us: The King of England goes mad.

Him: He begins writing the seventh symphony

1812: The Seventh Symphony

So while the rest of the world is blowing up, LVB is writing another symphony. This time, he's back to four movements, probably because he realized that having five parts last time was a real a*hole move, even for him.

The first movement starts off with a Blam! I love the opening chord progression. Maybe it appeals to the plebes like me too much but that's okay. LVB's a plebe at heart. Just one who reached for the stars. 

Then two minutes in he's about to up the ante but then pulls back. Sly dog. But he's only setting us up because at five minutes he comes at us even stronger. And he keeps up the bobbing and weaving and boppity-bop rhythm for nine more minutes! Pastoral Schmastoral! LVB's back, baby!  

Is the second movement a funeral march? Not quite - it's got sort of a "Climb Every Mountain" vibe, but with horns instead of nuns - a switch that would have dramatically improved my childhood. 

In the third LVB cheers up, picks up the pace, and adds a rather snappy rhythm. 

In the fourth, he takes it up another notch but keeps things from getting too crazy. He must be on his meds. Ah, but then towards the end they wear off and he's his old crazy self as if to say it's the summer of Ludvig!! 

He conducts it the following year to celebrate the Brits kicking Nappy's ass.

A

"Lenny Number Seven"

1813: The Eighth Symphony:

Having proved he was no sissy last time, he's a little less of a dick now, but still thrashing when necessary. 

In the first movement, he tries to sound "stately" as if he owns a thousand acres, which he kind of does by now. But it still moves. 

The second is short and mellow. I can see putting this on for dinner guests.

The third gets regal, like he thinks he's the king. He was smart enough to not tell the actual king,  though.

The four is customarily fast - the typical Beethoven charge at the gates - nice but nothing amazing. 

And before you know it, it's over.  It's his shortest.  All in all, it feels like this one is made up of the parts that didn't make the last symphony. 

B+

"Lenny Number Eight"

1814 - 1823: Me and LVB Take a Break From Each Other, Part Two:

Then the man drops out for a while, taking a break from Symphonies and lots of other things.

Was it a Clapton break, involving substance abuse followed by long years of mediocre music? Nah. More like a Dylan motorcycle accident break where he (eventually) does the basement tapes once he gets better. 

But what was going on? Oh, let's see: his brother dies, he gets into a custody battle over his nephew and becomes very ill.

By 1820 he's finally composing more, including three piano sonatas, and he's already started on the Ninth Symphony.

1824: The Ninth Symphony 

He just HAD to go back to five movements.  Not only that, each one is loooooonnnnng. The whole thing runs about SIXTY-FIVE Minutes - at least half again as long as anything before it. 

We're in double album territory. Not The Beatles, mind you, which was over 90 minutes long. More like London Calling or Exile on Main Street. You know - double albums that come up a bit short time-wise but are great nonetheless. (Speaking of London Calling, what if LVB - instead of having that 5th movement - just had a hidden track at the end?)

And speaking of the Stones, do you find it as odd as I do that he finishes this with a chorus, kind of like "You Can't Always Get What You Want"? Typical of the Stones to take something meant to be so positive and shitting all over it just before heading on out to Altamont.

Two seconds in and it already feels bigger! (now, there's a sentence I never expected to write...) It moves - rhythmically, melodically, and dynamically - all over the place, and yet it holds together. It reminds me of "Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding" in the sense that it takes its time to make its point and expects you to sit there and wait.

It's like listening to a drunk guy in a bar who you think might take a slug at you. He's had a tough life and he's got to take it out on somebody.

The second movement opens with a theme everyone would recognize. Again the insistent rhythm, and, as usual, the rhythm and melody match perfectly. The drunk is angry and might strike out at any moment. By the end of it, I feel like I've done a few rounds with Ali. Float float float float float STING!! You get the idea. 

You finally get to rest in the third movement. The drunk has calmed down and LVB is taking his time. And after years of personal turmoil, he's got a lot to say. Who? Both of them.

The fourth grabs you again. You thought he'd mellowed out, didn't ya? No, he's still drunk and still knocking shit over. And still upset. But then he finally hits that happy stage and loves the world. 

And in the fifth, not only has he started singing, he wants the whole bar to sing with him, too. And they do!

I've gotta admit the singers are really wailing by the end of this one. And the orchestra keeps up with them. The ending combines the orchestral and vocal into what must have been an overwhelming climax. But that's also how I feel about "You Can't Always Get What You Want" which I'll admit I still prefer. 

He conducted it at the premiere, even though he was totally deaf.  When it was over, one of the singers had to turn him around so that he could at least see the audience going nuts.

And well, there it is. One of the "great albums" - snob that I am - that I never quite got comfortable with. I guess I liked his early stuff better before he became a big star and everyone else liked him.

But it's really really good.

"Lenny Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine..."

A-

1825 - 27: "...the love you take/make, etc..."

He continues to compose, even starting a tenth symphony. But he's getting ill again and family issues are taking their toll. 

When he passes away the funeral attracts 30,000, and among the pallbearers was that suck-up Franz Schubert. (We'll get to him eventually.)

So after all of this, I must REALLY LOVE Beethoven, right? Not exactly. 

I still a fan of rock 'n roll and pop music. I dip into classical music like I dip into reggae or the blues. I need a change, stay for a while and then go home.

I still love the Beatles, the Stones, and the Who more than any of the Big Three Bs of Classical Music - Beethoven, Bach, Mozart.  Why Mozart you say? 'cuz he's such a little Bitch.

Jk, it's really because it's Brahms, and despite having his Requiem, I can't say I'm up to him yet. (Remember the Jaybee motto: don't let facts/reality stand in the way.)

So I hope this exercise hasn't been a complete waste of time for you. I'm glad I did it because it forced me to listen to it all more closely, and I'm really glad I did.

So rock/pop will always be first, but if someone puts on any of the LVB music I've covered here, I'm going to really enjoy it.

Anyway, let's finish with this small piece you might know as "Schroder's Theme".  

RIP LVB.

The Notorious LVB: 1808

The Fifth Symphony:

Okay, he started writing it in 1805, continuing on it all the way through to 1808, where he then got stuck. So he went ahead and wrote another Symphony. As one does. If you're Neil Young, that is.

And why not? He'd been writing all sorts of stuff over the last few years so what's another symphony? In fact, it helped him work out the problem he was having with the Fifth, so he finished that one, too.

In case you don't already know, this is the one that starts with dah dah dah dah!

The first thing I had to learn about this was that it wasn't dah-dah-dah! and it wasn't dah-dah-dah-dah!. It was deh-DAH-deh-DAH, and even that's a pretty shaky description of it.

But my point is, it wasn't an announcement of "serious intent" as I've always thought. It was an off-kilter, "on the two", attempt to tell everyone not only has the show started but you're already behind so hurry up. It was intensity. It was - if I may use an overused analogy - punk rock. It's Neil Young inspired by the Sex Pistols doing "Sedan Delivery" for forty minutes. It's Elvis Costello upping his game after his comparatively singer-songwriterly My Aim is True to This Year's Model.

Of course, this could just be him further adjusting to his worsening deafness and abandoning nuance for impact. Who could blame him?

In a way, it's funny because LVB usually comes at you with all kinds of melodic motifs that glide and flow into each other like, say Sufjan Stevens, but here he's more or less just hammering away on a single riff, like ACDC. I mean, he's messing with it, but he keeps coming back to it.

He turns back into Haydn for the second movement if only to assure you he hasn't lost his mind completely. (Funny how he always feels the need to do that...) But then halfway through it's very Napoleonic for a minute as if the two were friends again. Nappy would soon have Vienna surrounded, so it was no time to piss him off.

It seems like it's going to take the mellow route, like a CSNY acoustic set but then the horns come in loud and martial. The woodwinds and violins try to calm them down, but the brass isn't having it. So the tone sways gently back and forth between the two.

The third movement takes that martial theme and combines it with the Dah-Dah-Dah-Dah (well, you know what I mean). The violins are getting fidgety and keeping the pot on a steady simmer, which is a nice setup for the finale when everyone's caffeine kicks in. Kids, that's why Kiss did "Beth" - the better to rock your ass when the time came.

And it's kitchen sink time! In its own way, like "Rosalita" after "Incident on 57th Street". It starts off with a bang and for ten minutes he hits you with everything, one after the other. He really bashes at you to within an inch of your life.

And like "Rosalita", it pauses halfway through if only to catch his breath and pummel away again. And for the last minute, in double time, as if the horses are charging. 

And. It's. Just. Great.

A

And here's Lenny - with the beard, looking suspiciously like Kevin Kline - (I just miss the messy hair) to demonstrate.

The Sixth Symphony:

He calls it "Pastoral", which is what you do when you've forgotten your electric guitar, or went completely overboard last time out. Here it's the difference between the second and third Velvet Underground records or Comes a Time after riding in the ditch for years.

But on a more serious note, I suspect he got laid. And good for him! And us. After all, as great as the Fifth was, how much of that can you take at one time? Well...

This is his first five-parter - with two Allegros! (wow!) - which is bullshit because when you listen to it, it all flows together but maybe he was getting paid by the movement. (There is a scatological joke here that I'll leave for you to work out. I have a reputation to maintain.)

The first movement has some very familiar themes that most would recognize. (But of course don't count on me to say "Ahh, Beethoven's Sixth!".) About three minutes in, it sounds like there's a man on a trapeze. It might be the sweetest piece he's ever done. Trapeze man comes back in at about eight minutes in and, thankfully, lands gracefully.

Then in the second movement, he decides to take a stroll and look around. He takes his time and manages to sustain this mellow mood for twelve minutes!

The third movement starts off with some themes most of us cultivated folks would recognize, starting off easy but then ending up at the horse races. 

The fourth starts out like Phantom of the Opera (or do I mean that Phantom sounds like this...) except there is some actual drama, and then sounds like Muggsorgsky's/ELP's Picture's at an Exhibition before calming down and being its own self. 

And three minutes into the fifth he hits on a theme/chord progression that works universally. And here is where he shocks me. I'm expecting the old gallop to the finale ending, when in fact he stays within the boundaries he set at the beginning, and ends with mellow.

My conclusion is that he's high, in the best possible way. If the fifth was bourbon, this one is weed.

And it's a full forty minutes, so we're in Thick As A Brick territory.

A-

Here's Lenny again, this time sans beard but with the messy hair, showing how it's done.

The Vienna Concert:

You'd think after cranking out two symphonies he'd relax a bit, but no! 

So he ends the year with a concert premiering both of these Symphonies, and then plays lead on his Fourth Piano Concerto No. 4 and, for good measure, a Choral Fantasia (we all know how those are). 

All in all, a four-hour show. Very Sprinsteenian/Allmans-at-Fillmore of him.

Sorry You Took It So Accurately

Last time I implied that Itzy Perlman was lazy by sitting during his performance of LVB's Violin Concerto, thus subtracting a smidge of my enjoyment. Jaybee Friend and Advisor Marty pointed out that Itzy had polio as a kid and so has a better reason for sitting on his ass than I ever will. 

He further suggested I aim slightly higher, perhaps at FDR. 

Hmm... I thought. FDR was safely dead and thus less likely to retaliate. But it just wouldn't look good. (i.e., I might get caught again.)

But having behaved like George Constanza dealing with the elderly I took this under advisement and retreated to Atlantic City (Mar a Lago being occupied) for the weekend to contemplate my future. 

So I did my best to come up with a worthy target, first landing on Charles Krauthammer - also safely dead - but with whom I merely disagreed. Even in our current political climate, it might look cheap.

I even considered fictional characters like Dr. Strangelove, but by the end of the movie he was standing up and he may still be alive. His spirit certainly is.

So I settled on that congressman who punches trees, lies about car accidents, and probably sucks at violin.

So I hope this ends a sad chapter in our natural history, and I can get back to the business of telling you what I think without having to produce any supporting evidence. 

Yes, I see a career in politics in my future, such as it is. And if it's with the Republican party I'll have to be able to take down folks like FDR anyway.

My first act in this new role will be to legalize sneaking up on Stevie Wonder (Ray Charles no longer being available) smacking him in the back of the head and running away. After all, Mr. Wonder is the perfect three-fer GOP target. Black, blind, and - presumably - unable to fight back.

So I can say without fear of contraction that all is well with me. Because, after all, that's the important thing.

Jaybee 2024!

The Notorious LVB 1806-07

So what's the old charmer been up to these days, you ask? In 1806, his brother, of street fighting fame, gets married, so LVB would have to find someone else to wrestle with. Instead, he writes his Fourth Symphony and a Violin Concerto because that's what one does. In 1807 he had the hots for a young widow who turned him down. So he finishes writing his Fifth Symphony. (But that'll have to wait until next time.) Wow. All that redirected sexual energy!

Violin Concerto  1806

When I got all nine of Beethoven’s Symphonies from MHS, they threw in a bonus record. And damn if it didn't work its way into my brain and end up being my favorite bit of classical music!

 

I guess when I was feeling daunted by the sheer amount of music in the Symphonies, I’d put this one, feeling I'd at least be accomplishing something, and, by golly, it snuck up on me.

This is a really lovely album.

And now that I've (accidentally) gotten a CD version of it, I've become the Classical Music Asshole I always hated. You know who I mean. I can now say something like I prefer the 1991 Itszhak Perlman-Carlo Maria Guilini version with the Philharmonic Orchestra to the 1981 Christian Ferras-Herbert von Karajan version with the Berliner Philharmoniker due to some esoteric reason when we both know my fave was the video version because the (Irish?) violinist sweat his ass off.

So let me tell you about it.

Well, in typical classical music "let's piss off the plebes" fashion it goes on for three and a half minutes before any violins show up. Or, at least becomes prominent. Lesson: soloists are always late, so always invite them earlier than everyone else.

The first movement is by far the longest - twenty-four minutes! - single movement of anything I have by LVB. By the time it's done you're like, hey that was great! and then you realize there are two more movements!

The second movement is a bit calmer and there's a nice mellow chord progression at around 3:45 that would be at home in any mellow-bluesy rock n' roll song. Speaking of which the whole thing clocks in at about 44 minutes, a very respectable mid-70s album length and the longest piece so far.

The third movement picks things up a bit and ties it all together in a very graceful energetic way.

So why do I like it? Well, it comes down to this. The violin sounds like an electric guitar. Not exactly in actual sound, and not exactly in what is being played. But in the verve and passion of it all.

There's even a degree of improvisation here but I'll be damned if I can figure out where it is. Suffice to say there are what appear to be "fills" along with the written down parts, and in its own classical way, it rocks. And that's Beethoven for you right there.

When I look for a video with Itzhak Perlman I'm irritated to see him sitting. I get it, he's wearing classy duds and - like the Winchester family, doesn't sweat/perspire. The video below is more rocking, with Ms. Hahn swaying like a guitar god. The audience reaction is pure rock n' roll, too, and completely appropriate.

My point is there's energy and passion here I can fully relate to. 

Funny thing, at its first public performance the public turned up its nose, and it took another dozen years for someone to dust it off and try it again - by a twelve-year-old violinist! It took someone at a rock n roll age to bring all that energy out. At which point everyone said you see I told you it was great (see the Hitler/Ramones Syndrome).  

Even better than my other fave, Vivaldi's Mandolin Concerto.

A

BEETHOVEN Concerto for Violin and Orchestra - Hilary Hahn, violin; Leonard Slatkin, conductor

Fourth Symphony:

As I mentioned before, the general rule for the Symphonies is to go for the odd-numbered ones, and this is a good illustration of that.

Number Three changed the ((classical (music)) world so the next one was bound to be a bit of a letdown. But then you're run into the people who go on to say that well, this is one of the most underrated blah blah blah. You get the idea.

And, alas, here, the paradigm holds up. Harvest Moon after  Ragged Glory? Not quality-wise, but definitely mood-wise.

He’s back to his opening Dah-Dah!-themed approach. But you can tell his heart's not fully in it. After having blown everything up, he’s taking a bit of a break. Wouldn't you?

After the bounce and hop of the last one, this one is almost comical that it takes over two minutes before it really kicks off. But then watch out! He's still Beethoven, after all.

The third movement may sound very familiar, and it's where things pick up.

And just when you think, man this guy just loves his fast endings, he pauses. And then blasts past you and it's over! 4th And okay he catches you in the 4th movement with the trick ending but let's face it, it's more cute than climactic. End of Sailin Shoes? No, the end of Abbey Road.

Verdict: Quite good, but not revolutionary. Perfectly fine for anyone else, but slightly subpar for the mad (not really) genius (yes really) that he is.

B+

But if anyone can perk things up, it's Lenny:

Beethoven: Symphony No. 4 in B flat major, Op. 60 (Leonard Bernstein)